Parenting & Fertility

Becoming a parent can be one of the most significant transitions we experience.

It can bring enormous love and meaning, while also changing almost every part of life; your identity, your relationship, your body, your priorities and the amount of time and energy you have available for each other.

Sleep deprivation, mental load, finances, sex and intimacy, different parenting styles and the sheer responsibility of caring for another person can all affect how you relate as a couple. Sometimes partners find themselves functioning brilliantly as a parenting team while feeling increasingly disconnected from each other.

Parenthood can also bring our own childhood experiences closer to the surface. We may find ourselves thinking about how we were parented, becoming determined to do things differently, or noticing old wounds and patterns appearing in unexpected ways.

For parents of neurodivergent or disabled children, there can be additional layers too; navigating diagnosis, advocating for your child, managing different needs within the family and coping with systems that don't always understand your child or your family.

Therapy offers space to think about you as well as you as a parent — and, for couples, to remember that alongside raising a family, you are still two people whose relationship needs care, attention and connection too.

Fertility, IVF, miscarriage & loss

The journey towards parenthood isn't always the one we imagined.

Fertility difficulties and IVF can gradually take over everyday life. Time becomes organised around cycles, appointments, tests, procedures and waiting. Sex can shift from something connected with pleasure and intimacy to something associated with timing, pressure or disappointment. Bodies can begin to feel medicalised, and decisions that once seemed straightforward can become emotionally and physically exhausting.

Partners can experience the same fertility journey very differently. One may want to talk while the other retreats. One may remain hopeful while the other is trying to protect themselves from another disappointment. There can be guilt, anger, envy, helplessness and grief; alongside love and a genuine desire to support each other.

Miscarriage and pregnancy loss can bring another kind of grief. You may be grieving not only a pregnancy, but the baby you had begun to imagine, the future you had pictured and the sense of safety or certainty you previously held. Partners may grieve differently or at different times, and sometimes one person's loss can feel less recognised than the other's.

There can also be difficult questions about whether to continue treatment, try again, explore another route to parenthood, or begin to imagine a future that looks different from the one you expected.

Therapy provides somewhere to make room for all of this, the grief, hope, anger, uncertainty, decisions and impact on intimacy and connection, without expecting either of you to cope in a particular way.